


Eternity with You

by zombie_honeymoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Blood, Dark Humor, Decapitation, He's ok though, Humor, KakuHida Week 2019, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Gore, Romantic Gestures, Self-Harm, Swearing, hidan causes injury to himself, hidan doing hidan things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-05 21:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombie_honeymoon/pseuds/zombie_honeymoon
Summary: Hidan has come up with the perfect way to propose to Kakuzu, and executes his plan perfectly. Which means it's a complete disaster and Kakuzu finds it somewhat disgusting.





	Eternity with You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for KakuHida Week 2019  
Prompt- Benefits 
> 
> So I got the idea for this from an episode of The Office, where Michael is trying to come up with the perfect way to propose and immediately thought of Hidan. Please enjoy! 
> 
> (Rating is for what Hidan does, don't be expecting any smut here.)
> 
> This has been in my drafts since the end of August, and I decided to wait for KakuHida week to post it! It was a long wait for me. I wanted to work on some other fics for other events and ships, and wasn’t sure I’d have anything for this event if I posted it earlier and that would have been a crime. But I have two more fics for this week coming up.

▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼

Hidan had everything set up perfectly, or as near to perfect as one man could make things. He had ordered take out, from Kakuzu’s favorite place, had enough candles arranged all around the bedroom and bathroom that he probably should have gotten a permit from the fire department, and had just finished placing the finishing touch: a single red rose on the center of the bed. Hidan had bathed and scrubbed himself clean, left his hair free of his usual gel, and sprayed himself lightly with cologne.

All that was left was for Kakuzu to get home.

Hidan was sure his plan was going to go smoothly, with no problems. It was going to be memorable for them both. When they told their friends the story of how Hidan proposed to Kakuzu, they would all be envious.

Hearing Kakuzu’s car pull into the garage, Hidan grabbed the containers of take out and put them on the table, then at the last minute decided they should have dinner in bed. So he grabbed the food once more and raced into the bedroom and set the containers down on the nightstand before going around lighting all the candles.

He heard the front door open and close, Kakuzu’s footsteps pausing then continuing into the house.

With a grin, Hidan pulled his t-shirt off and threw it somewhere before crawling onto the bed and stretching out so that when Kakuzu walked in he would get a nice view.

After a few moments, Kakuzu appeared in the doorway, “Hidan? What’s all this for?”  
  
“It’s called being romantic. Come, sit down, we’ll have dinner in here.”

Kakuzu looked unsure about it, like it was a trap. The last time Hidan had gone to such lengths was when he charged too much on their shared credit card but walked over and leaned down to kiss Hidan lightly on the lips. 

“Let me clean up first.”  
  
He smelled of dirt and sweat and steel after a long day at work. Hidan loved it, he found it exciting, and tugged Kakuzu closer for one more kiss, swiping his tongue across his lips, tasting salt, iron and smoke before letting him go.

“Don’t take too long.”

Kakuzu grunted in response and walked into their bathroom and Hidan heard him turn on the shower. While he was tempted to join him, he stayed where he was. He knew Kakuzu preferred to shower alone after work, it was how he relaxed and Hidan wanted him in the best mood possible.

Hidan felt butterflies in his stomach and giggled nervously as he slid his hand under his pillow and felt the cool metal that was hidden there. He wrapped his hand around it briefly before pulling his hand back out to wait.

Soon. He couldn’t wait, and was so full of nervous energy and excitement that he almost barged right into the bathroom but stopped himself and scooted back onto the bed. He could wait. They had waited so long already, what was a few more minutes? Besides, he wanted it to be perfect!

▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼

“Kakuzu, being immortal isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be,” Hidan started, getting on his knees beside the man he loved who was laying on the bed propped up with pillows behind him as he sucked a noodle into his mouth with a slurp. Hidan frowned and reached for the container of food in Kakuzu's hands with an annoyed sigh to place it on the nightstand. “Put the food down already.”

“I was still eating, I’m hungry. You can tell me what you did after I eat!” Kakuzu protested, trying to reach his food but Hidan slapped his hand away.

He waited for Kakuzu to swallow what was in his mouth, then just as he was about to start over, he noticed some sauce on Kakuzu’s mouth and grabbed a napkin to wipe it away.

And then finally, Hidan started again. “I might as well just start over…” Hidan cleared his throat and looked away, taking a deep breath before turning back to the man he loved, “Kakuzu, being immortal’s not what it’s cracked up to be, but the one benefit is that we get to spend countless lifetimes together.”

“Hidan…” Kakuzu felt his five hearts start to race. Was Hidan really doing what he thought he was doing? He sat up a little straighter. He never thought Hidan would be the one to propose, always he had thought it would be him, but it seemed like Hidan actually was.

“Kakuzu, I lost my head when I fell in love with you.” At that, he reached under his pillow and wrapped his hand around the metal underneath and pulled out one of his ceremonial knives. In one swift motion he sliced his head clean off.

It all happened so fast. Kakuzu never even had the chance to respond, or even react as he watched in shock as Hidan’s head was severed from his body and he was sprayed with blood. He had expected a ring, not a knife to come out from under the pillow!

Hidan’s head landed and rolled to the end of the bed, almost going over the edge, while his body fell where it was. Blood soaking through the sheets and the mattress, while more ran down over the side of the bed and pooled onto the floor. All while Kakuzu sat there, unmoving. It was truly a disgusting display. Completely unexpected and over the top, even for Hidan.

_“Hidan!”_ Kakuzu bellowed once he recovered from the shock, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! I just ate!”  
  
“Fuck… that hurts...” Hidan groaned with eyes squeezed shut in obvious pain. 

“Good.” Kakuzu wiped blood from his eyes.

“Damn! I forgot... can you get that little box on the nightstand for me?” He opened his eyes and looked up at Kakuzu who did not seem to be appreciating the lengths Hidan was going to in order to make such a memorable experience for them.  
  
“What kind of game are you playing?!” He thought Hidan was proposing and was disappointed that he had not.  
  
“No game! Just do it already! Come on, Kakuzu!”  
  
Unsure why, Kakuzu played along and grabbed the little box that looked suspiciously like a jewelry box, and tried not to get his hopes up again as he set it next to Hidan’s severed head. It could be anything in that box, he told himself.

Hidan looked up at Kakuzu lovingly, “I lost my head when I fell in love with you. Will you marry me?”  
  
“Will I marry a talking severed head? I don’t know about that.” Kakuzu said as he crossed his arms over his blood splattered shirt. Disgusting.

“What?! No! _ Me! _ Marry _ me! _ ” Hidan quieted down, “You will marry me, won’t you Kakuzu? I just cut my own fucking head off for you. Open the box and see the sweet ring I picked for you!”  
  
“I’ll wait until you can open the box and present it to me properly yourself. Then I’ll answer your question.” Kakuzu shook his head and pulled Hidan’s body over. It was still warm, and would remain so, even if he waited a week to reattach the head, which he considered doing. But Kakuzu was eager to see the ring and even more eager to tell Hidan that yes, he would marry him. Kakuzu lifted the head and placed it right where it belonged on his neck, lining everything up properly.

Allowing a single thread to escape, Kakuzu guided it in and out of Hidan’s skin deftly as he stitched him back together. Hidan’s body knew what to do, Jashin’s power made sure his favorite devotee would always heal.

Hidan kept his eyes closed, a slight crease between them marring his deceptively youthful appearance.

Finished, Kakuzu took up the knife and sliced through his thread, not flinching at the sudden, sharp pain, and then he set the knife down. As far from Hidan as he could reach. Not wanting any more theatrics.

Hidan took a moment to reorient himself and then carefully sat up with the ring box in hand. He opened it, and Kakuzu saw the ring was a simple matte black band a thin line of pink around it, the same color as Hidan’s eyes, not at all the gaudy thing he had half been expecting. Hidan had taste when he wanted to, Kakuzu thought, and then took it as a compliment to himself.

“Kakuzu, will you spend eternity with me and marry me?” He took the ring out and waited, feeling the seconds drag by… Kakuzu wouldn’t say no, would he? He wasn’t saying anything and Hidan could taste the fear of rejection in the back of his throat. Or maybe it was bile. He was sure he was about to be sick if Kakuzu didn’t say something soon and was regretting eating before proposing.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Hidan.” He frowned, not liking the green tint to Hidan's face. “Are you alright?”  
  
Hidan nodded and swallowed. “Yeah, I just… was about to puke on you before you finally answered. You said yes, right?” He wasn’t sure the sick feeling had passed yet, he needed confirmation of Kakuzu's answer.

“Yes, Hidan. Yes, I’ll marry you. I have something for you, too.” He reached under his own pillow and pulled out a small ring box of his own, “I was going to ask you to marry me, too. Of course I wasn’t going to cut my own head off in the process.”  
  
“Are you fucking serious?! You were?! Is that a ring?! Lemme see!”  
  
Hidan's excitement was contagious and Kakuzu quickly opened the box to show him the ring he had chosen. It was also matte black but had a thin line of green going all around it. He took it out and took Hidan’s hand in his, slipping it on his ring finger and then kissing it.

“We have the best proposal story to tell our friends.” Hidan laughed, “And look at us! Matching rings. That’s so fucking romantic it’s sickening.”

“I was going to propose after I made love to you…” Kakuzu sighed, though he had a smile on his face, “I guess nothing is normal when you’re involved though.”

He wasn’t sure he wanted things to be ‘normal’ anyways.

“Make love to me now.” Hidan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kakuzu’s, “Oh wait! Your ring!” He took the ring he had picked out of the box and lifted Kakuzu’s hand, kissed his palm with the same reverence he reserved for kissing his rosary, then slid the ring onto his finger.

“Later. When your neck has reattached fully and we’re not lying in a pool of your own blood and, when you have enough blood in your body to make your dick hard. And then I’ll make love to you, slow and sweet so your head doesn’t fall off again.” Kakuzu took Hidan’s hand in his, holding them up in the candlelight to admire their rings before tucking Hidan against his side and taking out his phone for a picture to send to all their friends.

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated ♥


End file.
